Tuesday, September 18, 2018

A letter to my baby girl on her 1st Birthday...

My Dear Willa Kay,

Today is the day that you turn ONE!
I hope that one day you will be able to read this blog and understand that your
story began long before September 18, 2017.

The first time I saw you, I couldn't contain my love for you.  The tears were streaming down my face and nothing else in the world mattered.  You were finally here.  While I was pregnant, I always wondered what you would look like, if you would have any hair, what your cry would sound like, and what you would smell like.  When the nurse brought you to me, I couldn't stop staring at you or touching your sweet face.  You were beautiful... those dark eyes and all of that dark brown hair...
you were perfect.

I loved the way your daddy stared at you when you were born.  It was like the world had stopped and it was just us.  He looked at you like you were the most amazing thing in the world...
because you are! 
We knew that night that our lives were never going to be the same.  We knew that there would never again be just the two of us.   But we also knew that for the first time in a long time we finally felt whole.  You were a missing piece in our lives.

This year has been full of firsts.  Your first night at home, your first bath, your first time nursing, your first car ride, your first visitors, your first snowfall, your first... everything.  This was also a year of firsts for your daddy and I.  For everything you learned this year, we were learning something as well.  I remember the first time you learned to sleep through the night... I think I slept worse that night than when you were up all night!  I learned that it is ok for you to sleep in your own bed and not need me all night long... that was a tough one for me!  Or how about your first bath after you learned how to sit?  I remember being so nervous, but learned very quickly that you didn't want your face in the water any more than I did!  Your first time eating solid foods was interesting for mom and dad!  Every time you gagged we jumped.  Every little face you made... we jumped.  We learned very quickly that you were learning what it feels like to eat and you sure learned quickly to love food.  There are so many more that my mind can't even keep them all straight.

You have grown so much not only in size, but personality in this last year.
You are sassy and sweet all rolled into one beautiful soul.
I love the way you get excited when you see your daddy come inside after work.
I love the way that you reach your arms up to me when you are sad.
I will never forget hearing your first words... Mama... then Daddy... and of course Kitty
Your sass is strong when you are determined to do something.  You don't like to be told no, which I think will suit you well someday... but for now, I hope you learn that we are just trying to protect you.
You are so smart, my sweet girl.  Every single day you amaze me with the things that you are learning.  It feels like just yesterday you were snuggled on my chest for hours, it was the only place that calmed you.  Today, it is still that place, but you need it less.  You are becoming much more independent everyday, but I hope you never forget that mom gives the best snuggles.  We love to see you come into your own.  You love to stand up on your own and scare mommy.  You love to play with anything that looks like an animal.  You like to watch Micky Mouse.  You are so close to taking your first steps and we are so close to "Willa" proofing everything around you!  You love to sit with daddy and drink his smoothies.  You wave at every truck you see and say daddy.  You love to dance to music and spend endless hours outside.  So many changes in the last 12 months.  This mama's heart is warm as I sit and think about all that has happened over this year.  I have tears as I realize that I can never get that tiny snuggly baby back, but I also cry because I am so proud of all the things I know you will accomplish in the future.

God has great plans for you sweet girl, always remember that.
You are the most amazing thing that has ever happened to us and we love you more!
Happy 1st Birthday Lovey!