Holy Colic... It ain't for the faint of heart...

Don't worry, I am still here!

I have been slowly working on this post for the last... well... 5 weeks at least.

As you all read, Willa came into this world making quite the entrance.

We had a great time in the hospital, she slept great, ate great, pooped great, did everything, 

well, GREAT!   We thought "awesome, this is going to be a breeze" HA! 

Who were we kidding?!

I was in denial that colic was the answer to what was going on with  my perfect little rainbow baby.

Denial is exactly what it was.  She's breastfed.  Breastfed babies don't get colic.  They just don't.

Man was I wrong and I wish I had come around sooner.

We suddenly found ourselves with a baby that found her voice and seemed to have the most awful tummy ache you could imagine.  She would be completely happy and suddenly pull her knees up to her chest, hands flailing, head back, and scream... I mean really scream.  Purple face and tears would be the start then suddenly she would hold her breath.  Oh my it was the scariest and most awful thing to watch daily.  Sometimes it would be numerous times a day.  Everyone kept saying that this will pass, she will just one day wake up and have grown out of it... well what do we do while we wait?!

There is so many different things that seem to cause these problems, colic, reflux, lip/tongue tie (watch for my next blog post on this!), gas, food allergies, etc.  I was determined that it was something I was eating so I removed all my vices, dairy, chocolate, caffeine, citrus fruit, green vegetables, and spicy food.  It seemed to help some, but just as I thought "yep that was the ticket... NOPE!"  I doubled up my probiotic, always remembered to take my vitamins, gave peanut a probiotic herself... ugh makes me sleepy thinking about everything we tried.  Convinced it was reflux, was put on prilosec (let me say, that is the most AWFUL tasting medicine for infants ever!  She hated it, and it was like wrangling a very tiny screaming monkey to give it to her!)  Gripe water, gas drops, swaddling, essential oils, and yes, I was adjusting her almost daily...
nothing . was . working.  

The only thing that seemed to calm her at all was babywearing!  Holy moly it was like sleepy dust as long as she was wrapped up tight, had her pacifier, and I kept walking!  One of the bonuses to babywearing is that you can walk around with them but have 2 hands to do what you need to do around the house!  Lets just say that I burned off a lot of baby weight by all the walking, bouncing, and babywearing I did!  It didn't "cure" her, but it helped keep me from crying with her quite a few times!  I am so glad I have a friend that was able to help me out and teach  me because it was seriously a sanity saver during the last 11 weeks!  Plus, it is a great chance to get your snuggle time in!  Did you know that having your baby close to your chest will also help maintain your milk supply while nursing?  How great is that?

The crying started out at random times of day, but when it finally started to settle in between 5:30 and 9 pm, I had to admit that I was wrong and it must be colic.  I was starting to feel so defeated.  Like seriously, defeated.  I would try to explain to people what I was feeling and I hated to feel like I was complaining because "You wanted a baby, you asked for this."  Yes, someone actually said that to me.

Well you are right, I did want a baby, but I didn't ask for a beautiful little face that I could no more than snuggle for 5 minutes before she was screaming her face off for hours.  She wanted nothing to do with anyone other than me, not dad, not grandma, nobody.  Mom, that is it... But this mom was getting exhausted.  My husband had to work on the road for most of my 8 week maternity leave, so I had to make it work to do it all.  I won't say that I was depressed, but I will definitely say that I was very stressed and EXHAUSTED both mentally and physically.  I remember thinking, how do women do this by themselves?  I give you huge props mamas!  That was so tough!

We are currently sitting at 11 weeks old today for miss Willa.  And let me tell you, she is getting better!  Thank the Lord!  We finally decided that we had to do something different, which was also very hard for me to do... we decided to take her to a different chiropractor.  I see babies, but not daily.  It was something that I was afraid to admit having to do, I don't know why, but I had to do it.  And man am I glad we did.  We found a chiropractor in Sioux Falls, South Dakota who is certified in pediatrics and sees more kids in two hours than I see in 2 weeks!  She was amazing! It is a hard thing to do, taking your child to someone else that does the same career that you do, especially when you feel like you should be able to do it yourself.  Needless to say, we have had some awesome results!  The day after her first visit was like we had a new baby!  Hubs and I sat on the couch that night staring at the clock waiting for the meltdown to start... it never did!  We were so relieved!  

The next day was Thanksgiving, meltdown city, horrible next few days (found out that lots of people from Thanksgiving got the stomach flu, so I think that had something to do with her too, she just wasn't right), then baptism on Sunday (meltdown there), crabby Monday for daycare, and Tuesday another visit to Dr. Ashley!  This time the visit went much smoother and she didn't even cry!  She has had a great week since!  A few meltdowns here and there, but that is to be expected with an 11 week old!  But no crying for hours!  Hallelujah!  I am so optimistic that we are on the right track!

Now like I said before, colic is not for the faint of heart!  It pulls at your heartstrings and makes you feel so incredibly helpless.  Your baby appears to be in horrible pain and you just can't take it away.  All of this while listening to screaming for hours.  So please, the next time you hear someone say that their baby has colic, be considerate...  give them a hug, that's what they need and deserve!

And for those of you that are going through the same things I have described, look into the use of craniosacral therapy and chiropractic adjustments for colic.  We also have been using a wonderful probiotic especially for infants that seems to be a great help as well!  I am hoping we are on the upswing of things!  But if not, we will be headed to Sioux Falls until we are! :)

Here is the info for Dr. Ashley, she is amazing!
If you visit her, tell her I sent you!
www.drashleychiro.com

I will try to not stay away so long this next time!  I am back at work, Willa is going to daycare 3 days a week while I work, daddy is back home, and life is crazy!  I wouldn't want it any other way!
I am working on another great post on lip/tongue ties that those of you who have had or are having problems with your nursing baby you'll want to stay tuned!  I have some great info for you!

Our Journey... Part 12, An unexpected birth story... but a perfect ending.

I told you that the next time I would be posting, I would hopefully be announcing 

our little one's arrival... Well she is HERE!!

Meet Willa Kay Rupp!

Born 9/18/2017

7lbs 15oz

20.5 inches long

I have had a lot of questions regarding Miss Willa's birth story, 

so for those of you that want the details... here ya go!

As the title of this post suggests, Miss Willa had her own plans about how she wanted to make her arrival that she forgot to mention to her mama beforehand!

On Sunday, 9/17/17, daddy arrived home from working over the road for 2 weeks.  

We were 39 weeks and I just prayed everyday that our peanut would wait to arrive

until he was home, thank goodness she was on board with that request!  Before going to bed

I had noticed what the medical world would call a "bloody show" needless, to say it 

wasn't anything spectacular and I honestly didn't think much of it.  I informed the hubs, but he didn't really want to know all the "gross details" lol!  He did however rub my belly and told little miss that he was home and that she could come any time now!  :)

At 12:45 am I awoke to the sound and feeling of a pop (yes, just like in the movies...
 and like my Dr. said probably wouldn't happen to me!!),  needless to say there was sudden rush of very warm fluid and I waddled/ran to the restroom as best as I could.  Women say that they feel like they are peeing their pants, and they are completely right!  Only difference is, there is no stopping it!  A couple bath towels later, I decided that I was feeling good yet so I was just going to get some rest because this could still take quite awhile to do anything.   Now I can't remember the exact times of everything as my mind was elsewhere!!! lol!  I went back to bed and within half an hour another gush of fluid and sudden cramping.  I knew this was it!  I started keeping track of the contractions and they began at about 30 seconds long and about 5 minutes apart, but within the hour they got stronger and began to last about a minute each.  I called our Doula, Kari, and she informed me that it still could be awhile so try to get some rest.  Rest was not happening for me as the contractions were strong enough to keep me awake.  At about 4:30 she messaged me and asked for an update on where my contractions were.  At this point they were around a minute long, 3-5 minutes apart and pretty consistent.  She said it would be best that we get a move on and get to the hospital!  I woke up the hubby and told him that this was it and we needed to get moving!  I have never felt so excited and anxious about anything in my whole life!  THIS WAS IT!

We had a good 40 minute drive to the hospital and I felt every single bump on the road!
We got to Orange City and met Kari at her office so she could check back in to make sure we needed to go to the hospital.  The contractions were definitely strong, but I could manage them.  They were pretty consistent at 3ish minutes apart, so we headed to the hospital.  When we arrived, we got checked into a triage room and the nurses started an IV and locked it (I didn't want anything attached to me so that I could be as mobile as possible for my natural birth plan).  The nurse checked me and I was at a stretchy 8, but my uterus was still felt to be high... I could still feel it up under my ribcage on the left side (remember that tidbit ;) lol).  Dr. Moeller came in about an hour later and rechecked me but found me to only be at a 6-7.  Everything seemed to be moving right along and I was able to breathe through my contraction and move around the room to comfortable positions.  They continued to monitor me while I was near the bed.  Baby was doing wonderful, heartrate stayed perfect through all the contractions!  We really thought that this labor was going to go quick, but boy oh boy did little one have another plan...

One of the things that I continued to feel through the last few weeks of pregnancy and into labor was a pressure on my right pelvic bone in the front.  I had asked Dr. Moeller about it at our last appointment and she indicated that little miss's head was up high yet and putting pressure on my pelvic bone.  I started to do stretches and exercises the last few weeks to help get her to move, but they were difficult for me to do regularly due to the significant amount of acid reflux I had at the end of my pregnancy.  I had only had it here and there depending on what I would eat during the early and mid pregnancy, but towards the end it was significantly worse and nothing was helping!  During the labor I was still feeling that same pressure and due to not being able to eat much, the acid reflux would not allow me to lie down long enough to do the exercises for long.  I spent time in the whirlpool tub, on the exercise ball, using the peanut ball in bed, on the toilet (no joke that felt like the most normal position ever...), kneeling on the bed, and walking/holding onto the Hubs.

The hours seemed to just keep passing by without a lot of progression.  A couple times there were indications that transition was happening, but then it would subside.  Kari was so confused.  All the exercises we were doing that should be progressing the labor and moving baby down, just were not working.  As the afternoon rolled around, the reflux seemed to get worse and caused me to vomit everytime I had to lie down.  This did not help with the progression of labor at all.  The doctor returned numerous times to check me, and as I dilated slowly, I was also thinning.  She didn't seem too concerned as she kept stating that often times, first time moms have long labors.  BUT she did remind me that their policy is that baby MUST be born within 24 hours of my water breaking, so we had a timeline... come on baby girl!  The afternoon time ticked away and I continued to labor.  I felt pretty good, granted I couldn't have done it without the positivity that Kari brought to the room!  She was amazing, she continued to know exactly what to do to decrease the pain.  She would have John put pressure on my hips during the contractions while she used heat and compression on my tailbone.  That felt amazing!  I know now that she and John were both getting concerned about how long the labor was taking, but they never gave me any indication to worry!
Thank goodness, because I would've!

Sometime around supper, the contractions really started to pick up.  They got to the point that they were not stopping, the monitor showed they were "on top of eachother".  This was exhausting as I couldn't catch my breath and the pain was never ending.  The doctor gave me the option of an epidural as I was still only progressed to an 8, but I refused.  About a half an hour later, she returned and said that she wanted to begin pitocin in order to get the baby to move down and finish dilating.  I knew that there was no way at this point that I could handle that without the epidural.  She did allow it since I was progressing so slowly.  Thank Goodness!!!  I was shaking so horribly that I had a very hard time sitting still.  I was exhausted, I was hungry, and man I was in pain.  18 hours of active labor was more than what I could handle.   I had to reach inside myself to be ok with the epidural.  John was concerned because he knew that I didn't want it, but that it had to be bad if I was willing to go for it.  I prayed very hard for help controlling my body so that they could do the epidural, you can NOT move at all!  Prayers were answered and I was feeling relaxed almost instantly.  I slept for about 15 minutes and when I woke up, I felt refreshed, but soon I felt the urge to push!

They called the Dr. and she confirmed I was finally a 10 and completely effaced!  AMEN!!!  She said we were ready to push!  I was given instructions to push, but luckily even with the epidural I could still feel pressure and the urge to push.  The other thing I still could feel.... that pressure on my pelvis and the uterus still riding high under my ribs... Why is she not dropping!  I am pushing and nothing is happening... Dr. Moeller stopped me and said that something wasn't right, she ordered an immediate ultrasound.  Now I started to worry!  Baby was still looking good, heartrate stayed steady, she was a trooper!  When the ultrasound tech began, she immediately stated "Here's the problem... that isn't her head, that is her butt..."  WTF?!!  Are you kidding me?!  I knew immediately what that meant.  Cesarean Section... That was something I had NEVER even contemplated happening... Baby girl was nice an cozy this whole time with her butt down and head and feet up by my stomach!

I began to cry.  I was sad.  I was exhausted.  I was also afraid.
This wasn't in the plan.  But then I remembered... None of this was in the plan.  I didn't plan to need surgery, I didn't plan to have endo, I didn't plan to need hormone shots, I didn't plan any of that... Why would this be any different?!
But this is it, this is our birth story, the good the bad, all of it.
Let's do this!  I want to see my little girl!  So we did!

Miss Willa came in to this world her own way, screaming and perfect in every way!
I heard her cry immediately and couldn't hold back the tears.  I have never been so happy in my life!
John got to go be with her and cut the cord.  The nurse was able to bring her to me to see and also to get as close to skin on skin as possible.  It was perfect, in our own way.  It may not have been the way we planned, but for a change of plans, it was perfect.  Kari wasn't able to be in the OR with us, but she met John in the nursery while I was in recovery and when she met me there she helped me get one of the things I wanted to badly... to be allowed to nurse as soon as possible.  Little girl knew exactly what to do and crawled her way up to nurse.  It was incredible!

I can't begin to thank every single person at Orange City Hospital enough.
They treated us so well and I feel that even through all of it, they gave us the utmost respect and care!  I would recommend Orange City to anyone looking for great OB care!  I also have no words to describe how grateful WE are for what Kari was able to do for us.  She helped keep me positive and helped John to know exactly what was going on and what to do.  She also helped to make sure he was eating and taking breaks.  Lastly, I am more than grateful for my amazing husband.  He did everything I needed him to do.  He is my rock and my soul mate.  I wouldn't have been able to do any of it without his support.  He stood by me with all my crazy needs throughout my pregnancy, and he was there through all the appointments leading up to it.  He was there for my surgery, took care of me after, and didn't bat an eye at giving me shots in the rump twice a week for 32 weeks!  He's an amazing daddy already and I can't wait to see this little girl wrap him even further around her finger.

So there you go, there's the story.
Willa is our miracle rainbow baby.
After she was born, I searched for a quote to use in my blog and this one came up first...
Considering who it is was written by, I thought it was more than perfect!

Our Journey... Part 11, What in the heck is a Doula?!

We've officially hit 37 weeks!

I honestly can't believe it is here already!  This pregnancy has honestly gone

so incredibly fast!  I feel so lucky to have been able to have such a great support team

behind me this entire pregnancy to help everything go so smoothly so far!  This team includes Kari Beadner; our FertilityCare Practitioner,  Dr. Pakiz; our NaPro Technology Physician and first OB,  the entire staff at Pope Paul IV Institute in Omaha, and Dr. Moeller; our OB in Orange City.  They have all done such an amazing job from charting help, to surgery, recovery, thyroid monitoring, hormone monitoring, and amazing prenatal care!  All of those things have gotten us to this point and I truly can't express how grateful we are to have been able to work with all these amazing people!

So what is the next step?  Well here we are at 37 weeks and learning yet more patience on my part!

I have been doing a lot of reading and self reflection over the last trimester regarding what I am hopeful to have happen with this birth.  From the beginning I have hoped to be able to have a "natural birth".  Now this means something different to everyone, and it also isn't what everyone wants... honestly no judgement here whatsoever!  Each woman should make decisions based on what is right for her and her family at that time.  And I do fully understand that what I want may not be possible, but I also know that the more I prepare myself for what I want, the more likely I will be able to achieve it.  One of the first decisions that we made was to hire a Doula.  It shocked me that so many people are not aware of what this is!!!  Seriously?!  I absolutely knew from the moment I was pregnant that there was NO WAY we were going to do this without one!  Lucky for us, our FertilityCare Practitioner (that we have gotten to know incredibly well over the last year) is a Doula!  I can't even begin to describe how much of a relief it was to know that we would have someone there to support us, but most of all to support my husband!!!

Ok, ok, so what the heck is this Doula thing she is talking about???!  

A Doula is a trained professional who provides continuous physical, emotional, and informational support to a mother before, during, and after childbirth to help her achieve the healthiest, best experience possible.

Now this is a very broad definition, but let me breakdown a few things for you that made us decide this was what we needed!  You know how you researched and worked hard to decide on the best Dr. to deliver your child?  Well that Dr. is only with you in your labor sporadically as they are likely also seeing many other patients as well.  They also are extremely important, obviously, for the birth and to make sure that you and baby are safe throughout the labor, but as for support in your labor... they aren't going to be there for that.  Those OB nurses... yep, they aren't there the whole time either.  And if you are in the boat we are in, being our first child, your significant other may not be able to give you the support that you need.  Think of it this way... You do not want pain medication during your labor (for whatever reason you have), but when you are in pain and your significant other feels as though they are not able to help you in managing your pain, what will they want you to do to get relief?   The moment that the nurse gives you the option, they are likely to be on board.  Your significant other wants to take away your pain, and seeing you in that situation may be very difficult for them.  This is the NUMBER ONE reason that we decided a Doula was for us.  

We knew that we needed help managing my pain without medication and that we, very likely, weren't going to have enough information at our disposal to do it on our own!  Our Doula is there to support me, but moreover she is there to support my hubby!  I don't want to hold her hand, but I do want to hold his, but I also want him to be able to stay calm and understand what is going on at each stage so that he can feel in control as well.  A Doula has pain management techniques at her disposal and understands when each may be beneficial.  They also help you to understand some of the interventions that might be necessary and when they ARE actually necessary.  Often, things are not explained well to moms and dads in labor, so you often hear women say that they accepted interventions but later realized they didn't need to do it and regret it.  If something goes wrong and there is an emergency, your Doula is NOT going to stop that from happening, but she will educate you and explain what needs to happen so that you are all understanding.  I understand that birth may not go "as planned", but having someone by our side the ENTIRE TIME to help you through it was what we knew we needed!

I also know that I needed someone to help keep me mentally prepared for what was happening.  I know that I live in my head too much and if I start to panic, the hubs will panic, and then we are definitely SOL ;)  I need the emotional support more than anything.  I needed to hear that what I am feeling is normal and that I can do it!  I know for a fact that pain medications and my body don't mix well.  I have had plenty of times where I have had reactions to pain medications (kidney stones...  that was a bad situation that lead to one very sick and delirious girl with many more meds to control the reactions to the pain meds...) and I do not want to have that happen during my labor.  Honestly, that fear is bigger for me than birth.  The other fear that I have is an epidural...  Seriously gives me the sweats just thinking about it...  AGAIN, for those of you that choose those options, no judgement... for me, they are a huge fear...  I hope to avoid them if at all possible.  Another reason to hire a Doula. 

Studies have shown the effects of having a Doula present for your birth include: 

• shorter labors with fewer complications 
• reduced rates of intervention and augmentation, including the use of forceps, pitocin, epidural, and Cesarean-section 
• more satisfaction with partners and the birth experience 
• less postpartum anxiety and depression 
• better breastfeeding outcomes 
• reduced cost of obstetric care 

We wanted to have options when it comes to pain management during labor.

We wanted a "coach".

We wanted a cheerleader.

We wanted HELP!

I said that I would rather hire one and not need her than to not and 

regret it because I was not able to achieve the birth that I was hoping for!

Our Doula is certified by Childbirth International and also has a special certificate in Spinning Babies (which is a program that works to achieve optimal fetal positioning to ease pregnancy and birth).

 If you are pregnant and/or just want more information on hiring Kari, go to  http://www.ocfertilitycare.com/doula.html

I honestly can say that I am ready!  At least me personally, I am ready.  I feel mentally prepared and excited to meet our little miss!  We officially narrowed down our name list from 30 to 4!  That is HUGE for us since we have such different tastes in names!  We were so blessed to have some great friends throw our little girl a shower and even more blessed by all the gifts that we received that will help us prepare our house for a new little human!  Cloth diapers are all washed and ready to go.  Got a few meals in the freezer.  Got my bag packed for the hospital.  Got the carseat all ready to go.  Now we just have to get the remodel on our house done!  EEEK!  Nothing like starting a remodel of every bedroom in your house and one bathroom when you are 4 weeks from due date!  I guess that is just how we roll!  Honestly it is actually a relief that I don't have to worry about getting a nursery ready when I know we won't be needing one for awhile.  My new mantra when it comes to the house is "it is what it is".   I am sure it will be awesome when it is done!  

Well I am off to go back to "patiently" waiting to meet little miss!  

The next post for you all will hopefully have our new bundle of joy!!!  

I am so excited to share her with all of you that have shared in our journey thus far!

Our Journey... Part 10, 3rd Trimester and More Shots...

Good Monday Morning Gang!

Well we are currently 29.5 weeks and into the 3rd Trimester!

How crazy is that?!  We are so getting very excited, nervous, and nesting is
in full swing!  We might be crazy, but we are about to undertake a huge remodel
to the entire 2nd level of our house with almost 10 weeks (hopefully) left!
That will include all 3 bedrooms, bathroom, and stairway!  I am excited to
get a move on and finally have a room for baby...
even if it isn't done when baby arrives!  It is what it is.. right?!?!

Pregnancy is going smoothly!  Doc says I am gaining weight perfectly, my blood pressure is just as perfect as always, no major food cravings, sleeping like a champ (even though I pee a lot! lol), baby is right around 2.5 lbs, and she is moving around like crazy all day, but seems to sleep all night :)
We got all registered for what we need for baby.  We are cloth diapering, which makes me extremely excited (hippy maybe?).  But I have been stocking up on those so we are ready when baby comes home!  OMG, let me just say that they are the CUTEST little things I have ever seen!  Cloth diapers are not as scary as people think they are, I promise!  I will be posting about them coming up soon!  Got my breast pump already, so that is exciting!  We decided to go with the Spectra S1 Pump with rechargeable battery.  It has seriously great reviews and cost the same with insurance as the Madela! (HINT:  call your insurance company, they should be covering your breast pump!!)

You don't realize all the things that go along with getting ready for baby
until you sit and actually start writing it out!  Here are a few hints on things that
you SHOULD make sure you have figured out before baby comes.

1.  Call your Health Insurance to find out what you need to do to add baby to your policy.

2.  Think about a life insurance policy for baby!  Even if you don't have one for you, you will want to have something set up!  Just in case something would happen (heaven forbid it does) or if your child would happen to end up with some sort of complication that later in life might make it more difficult for them to get life insurance.

3.  Call the hospital to find out if you can pre-register for your birth.  If possible it would be nice to not have to be filling out paperwork while you are in full on labor!

4.  Make sure you have a car seat that FITS in your car!  Trust me, we drive a very small car and they don't all fit!  Get it and try it out beforehand in case you need to exchange it!  Also as someone reminded me, really, a car seat is the only thing that you MUST have in order to take your baby home from the hospital, it is kind of a requirement ;)

5.  Have a good idea how you are planning to announce to close family and friends about your new arrival!  Sounds kind of dumb I know, but if you are like me and want to be able to have time with baby and daddy alone before visitors ensue, you may want to talk to hubby to make a plan!

6.  Have a plan for your other kids or pets!  You don't know for sure how long you will be in the hospital or even WHEN!  Have someone on call that you can call anytime and they
will know what to do!

7.  Have meals ready in the freezer for when you get home.  We are going to have at least 20 freezer meals ready to go at home and also have quick snacks available such as your favorite bars, protein shakes, nuts, fruit strips, etc.  Here are a few items I won't be without:  Chocolate Dipped Coconut Luna Bars,  Aloha Chocolate Plant Based Protein, Oven Roasted Almonds, Pomegranate Fruit Strips, La Croix Water, as well as plenty of fresh fruit and veggies for snacking!

8.  Make a list for your hospital bag so that you don't forget anything!  I am one to not pack too early because I need most of the items, so a list and and an empty bag ready to go will help me pack last minute if I need to!  Don't forget your phone charger, car seat, and DAD'S BAG!
He will need some necessities also!

I know that there are things that I am forgetting, but this is my list of things that, so far, I am working on getting accomplished!  What are some things that you moms can add to my list?  I would love to hear what else I need to be sure to have done!

Ok, so "More Shots".   Man do I wish that these shots were the alcoholic type, but unfortunately they are less fun that that.  These are the IM injections of Progesterone that I receive twice a week right in the rump.  I have had a lot of questions regarding why these are needed and what they are for, so I thought I would give you all a little background on the importance of Progesterone in pregnancy.

So what is Progesterone?
Progesterone is a steroid hormone that a woman's corpus luteum produces during the 2nd half of her menstrual cycle.  It is the hormone responsible for thickening the lining of the uterus after ovulation so that a fertilized egg is able to implant.  If there is not enough progesterone, the lining will not be able to accept the fertilized egg and menses will begin (menses also happens if no fertilized egg was available to be implanted).  High levels of progesterone does not allow ovulation to occur, this is why it is only available AFTER ovulation.  Estrogen is high before ovulation and progesterone rises after.  Make sense??  Ok, so what happens if a person is not producing enough progesterone to start with?  You will likely not be able to conceive as the lining of the endometrium will not be thick enough to accept an egg.  This is when a Dr. may prescribe Post-Peak Progesterone supplementation, usually in the form of a cream or oral capsules (my case).

Some symptoms of non pregnancy related low progesterone include missed or abnormal menstrual cycles, abnormal bleeding (premenstrual and postmenstrual spotting), frequent miscarriage, PMS symptoms, and infertility.  My cycle changed drastically with the addition of post peak progesterone.  I no longer had spotting, I had a cycle, boom, there it was... and it was shortened drastically due to no more spotting.  I also had better symptoms in regards to my mood pre-menstrual.

If you are able to conceive and continue to have low levels of progesterone, you run a higher risk of miscarriage or pre term delivery because progesterone is also the hormone that helps to maintain pregnancy!  Normally, the placenta begins to produce progesterone during the 2nd and 3rd trimesters which should help to maintain your pregnancy, BUT 1.  you have to get that far, and 2. this doesn't always happen to the level necessary to maintain the pregnancy.  This is where our IM injections have come in to play.  NaPro Technology has a scale that they use throughout pregnancy to monitor progesterone levels every 2 weeks.  I have labs drawn bi-weekly, send them to the National Hormone Laboratory in Omaha, Nebraska and they determine what my levels are.  From there, Dr. Pakiz will decide if I am where I need to be on their scale.  We started out great and needed only 1, 100mg dose a week, but that changed constantly during our pregnancy.  At one point we were up to 200mg dosage 2x/week plus 300mg suppositories nightly... Let me just say, I HATE needles, but those suppositories are for the birds!  Forget that crap!  I couldn't even explain how much I appreciated my body finally not needing that junk anymore! I will receive progesterone as long as deemed necessary this pregnancy, but will likely need until 37ish weeks.  Keeping this nugget cooking is all I care about!

So for now, this is what I get to have done twice a week!
Thank goodness the hubby is such a great nurse and can do them for me!!


The NaPro Technology website has a great article regarding the use of Progesterone Support During Pregnancy and the safety of it as well.  There is also a copy of the chart they use to determine what level you should be at during each 2 weeks of pregnancy.  This is something that many Docs are not aware of the benefits, so they may question it during your pregnancy.  If you have a NaPro physician monitoring your levels, they are a great resource for your OB to discuss your case with.

If you have symptoms that you feel are related to progesterone insufficiency, I highly recommend you find a Creighton Practitioner that can teach you how to chart your cycles which will very likely show any progesterone related issues as well as many other health related conditions that may be affecting not only your fertility but your day to day life!  I truly believe that our bodies are amazing at showing us what is going on with it, but we just aren't always looking at those signs!  I am slowly working on a blog post regarding Creighton Charting, bear with me, it's going to be a good one :)

If you want more information on Creighton Practitioners in your area check out the
Fertility Care Centers of America Website
or if you are in Northwest Iowa, please check out
Guiding Star Orange City

This is so much more than your fertility!  This is about quality of life!
You know your body better than anyone else!  Do NOT accept "it is normal" when you
know that it is NOT normal for you!  You have options!

Our Journey... Part 9, It's A...

Wow!  It has been quite the ride the last 21 weeks!

You heard that right, 21 weeks!!! HOLY GUACAMOLE!  We found out we were pregnant at 4 weeks and I can say that for the most part it has flown by!  Quick update on my pregnancy...

First Trimester...

Honestly for the most part was a breeze in regards to morning sickness, I only had minor nausea (thank the lord!).  I feel terrible for any of you mama's that have had morning sickness and all the yuck that comes along with that!  I was extremely exhausted and hungry all the time, but definitely had some pretty strong food aversions...  the smell of ground beef cooking was enough to make me want to run for the hills!  Oofta, nope, nada, no thank you, I will stick with chicken!  I didn't gain much weight in the first trimester either, about 4 lbs total.  The other symptom that I suffered from was constipation and let me tell ya, might not believe me, but at times I think I would've rather had the morning sickness. 

When we found out that we were pregnant, one of the first things that they did was to determine what my progesterone levels were.  If you remember right, my levels were low prior to becoming pregnant and I needed supplementation in order to achieve pregnancy.  Well we found that my levels were low yet so we had to supplement progesterone in the form of IM injections twice a week.  My hubby stepped up (without a single complaint) and has given me all but 2 injections throughout the last 17 weeks, he is pretty much a pro at this point!  (Keep an eye out for another post soon regarding progesterone levels in pregnancy and more info about supplementation...) 

Second Trimester...

Baby has been growing like a champ almost as soon as we hit the 2nd trimester!  Crazy how I would start to have some new symptoms and the next day my baby tracking app would state that those symptoms would start soon.  Makes you really feel like you are on the right track!  Again we continued the progesterone injections and even had to add vaginal suppositories for a week as my levels dropped by almost half.  That was a very scary time for me and emotionally I was an absolute wreck.  Once my levels got back into range I truly started to feel more like myself.  We also found that I needed to add Synthroid to my daily intake.  I basically rely on my fitbit alarms to tell me when I have to do what!  

My food aversions went away almost immediately in the 2nd trimester and my appetite came back, which was both good and bad!  I haven't been as "strict" with my diet that Dr. Pakiz put me on thinking that now that I was pregnant, I didn't need to worry about it so much... WRONG!!!!  Dairy and gluten especially bother me still, sometimes worse than before.  I'd be lying if I said I learned my lesson...  Damn CRAVINGS!!!  Mentally food has been a huge struggle for me.  I can't say that I have any "weird" cravings... But, when I want something, I want it... RIGHT NOW!  Ha!  Chinese food?  Now.  Tacos?  Now.  Donuts?  Now, now NOW!  But other strong cravings have been for fruit of all kinds, which is great, because this is the best time of year for that!

Dr. Pakiz approved our move from Omaha to someone local at week 12.  We struggled with the decision, wanting to be sure that we chose the right place and Dr. for us.  Hubby made the comment "do you feel like we are cheating on Dr. Pakiz?"  I mean, yeah... She is our saving grace!  After seeing doctors since I was 12 years old with no answers to any of my complaints, she gave us exactly what we needed to heal my body so that we could finally have a chance at having our baby.  On top of that she gave me my life back... so yeah... we basically wanted to either steal her and bring her to Iowa or even contemplated me staying in Omaha the month of September to be ready when baby was.  That shows how much we are indebted to her, I can not even begin to thank her enough for what an amazing job she does.  She will ALWAYS hold a special place in our hearts. 

So what did we decide to do???  We decided that Orange City was where we started on our Creighton Model and NaPro journey, so maybe it should be where we finish it!  We decided to visit with Dr. Moeller there and are so happy we did!  She is amazing and we are so happy that we have found 2 great doctors after all these years!  We started with Dr. Moeller at 16 weeks and as of today we had our 21 week appointment and ultrasound!!!!  So what did we find out?  

Well Baby Rupp is growing PERFECTLY!  We got to see everything, heart, diaphragm, legs, feet, arms, hands, brain, face... all of it, and all of it is absolutely perfect.  Honestly, I was so incredibly nervous for this visit, I couldn't even cry, I just stared at the screen in awe of what we have created... this perfect little 1 pound person.  It felt surreal, it still does.  I honestly was also very shocked, because I just kept having this crazy feeling that we would be having a boy... 

Well this mama was WRONG!  

We are so excited to announce that we will be welcoming a beautiful baby GIRL in September!!

If you think today should include you... it should!

Happy Mother's Day!

I wake up this morning feeling extremely blessed because there a lot of mothers 

out there that have had such a huge impact on my life.  I can't begin to express the gratitude 

I have for them and most especially for my own mom.  I wouldn't be the woman that 

I am today without her and I love her to the ends of the earth.

I have been reading so many blog posts recently about mother's day and for the 

women that feel as though this day doesn't include them because they have not gotten 

the chance to actually hold their babies in their arms or have lost them in other ways.  

I know last year was a hard Mother's day for myself as we had our miscarriage before that.  

But this year I have both joy and sadness as I mourn the fact that this would've been my first Mother's Day with my baby in my arms, but I am also incredibly happy to be pregnant with our rainbow baby at 21 weeks!  Miscarriage and infant loss makes women feel like they are less than a mother because they have "nothing to show for it".  You know what... I call BS!  You ARE mothers.  Every one of you... You deserve this day just like every mom that is currently chasing around a toddler, feeding their newborn, watching their kids graduate high school, or enjoying brunch with their grandkids.  Losing a child doesn't take away your motherhood, it changes it, but it doesn't mean that you shouldn't be celebrated.   I know, I know... But mom's should be celebrated everyday.  Well duh!  But you know what so should dads, veterans, our freedom, and Jesus!  But today is a day dedicated to MOMS!  So take today!  Embrace it!  Love on your babies, your moms, all the women in your life that have influenced you and made you want to be an amazing mom like them!

This post is for you.  If you are questioning whether you should be celebrated today, you should!  As mom's we all need to stick together because this world gets crazy.  We need to raise each other up and cheer each other on in our victories.  Home birth, hospital birth, natural, C-section, breastfed, formula fed, crib sleeping, co sleeping, cry it out, baby wearing, cloth diapering, disposables, it doesn't matter.  These are all decision that we each are making for ourselves and our families that makes each of our lives easier, but may not be someone else's cup of tea.  At the end of the day we have done what we thought was best for us, end of story.  So today I ask that we all join together and spread love to ALL MOMS.  Because I am learning already that this is a very crazy ride and we all need the support and appreciation for our journeys, no matter what they look like.

Our Journey... Part 8, A Rainbow.

I read something recently that feels perfect to start with...

This has been such an amazing and exhausting journey at the same time.

We have had to learn so much about ourselves and our marriage.  

They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.  

Let me say I believe this to be wholeheartedly true.  

I feel like I have grown so much as a person and wife in the last year.  

In the world of infertility you will often hear about Rainbow Babies.

For those of you that don't know what that means, these are babies that are born following a miscarriage or stillbirth.  The quote above says it best...

No rainbow can take away the pain from the storm, but it can give you 

something beautiful in the midst of the darkness.  

This last year has been such an incredible storm full of thunder, lightning, and steady rain.  

From our miscarriage in January 2016, finding Creighton Model and NaPro Technology in March, our diagnosis in May, what would have been the birth day of our baby in September, my surgery in October, personal healing and big life decisions in November, Job changes for my husband in December....  We made it through... Like I said in my previous post, stronger than ever.  We were ready for what was next... for what was to come... Our Rainbow!
That's right... We're Expecting our Rainbow Baby in September 2017!!!

This last month has been a whirlwind!  We found out we were expecting on my birthday!

That is the most amazing birthday gift I ever could have been given!  NaPro Technology has given us the strength and hope that is able to overcome most of the fears lingering from last year.  Anyone having a previous loss will tell you that the fear NEVER goes away.  Every single symptom, every single lack of symptom, every . single . day . there is fear.  I feel so blessed to know that we are doing EVERYTHING possible to help my body grow this amazing and beautiful little human being.  We were able to go to Omaha the day before Valentine's Day for our first ultrasound.  This was the absolute most amazing thing I have ever heard... a strong heartbeat!  Next was to see our baby, 2nd most amazing thing in the world!  Perfect baby, moving around, and even sat perfectly still for the heartbeat to be read.  I knew the risks of miscarriage went down once these things could be checked off the list.  But I also know that we still have a long ways to go!   We were so excited to tell our parents and families!  They got a very exciting Valentine's surprise this year!

We decided that you are all a part of this journey with us and wanted to let you all know!  

I want to give hope to those going through loss that there is a light meant for you.  

Don't give up.

And don't worry, this is far from the end of our Journey... 

We are just getting started!